“I feel overwhelmed and don’t know where to start,” is something that almost every client I’ve worked with has said to me in our initial call. It’s a powerful feeling, and just to reiterate how powerful, this is how the Merriam-Webster dictionary describes it: To be overwhelmed means to be completely overcome, overpowered, or submerged by a force, emotion, or amount of something that is too great to manage. It often describes a feeling of being paralyzed, stressed, or “frozen” by having too much to do, feel, or process.
That sounds almost impossible to overcome doesn’t it? Frozen, paralyzed and overpowered are such strong, intense descriptions they can easily lead you to feel there’s no way to get past them. The good news is, you can. There you go, do you feel slightly relieved already? The first step is to accept how you feel. You’re not weak and there’s nothing wrong with you by feeling overwhelmed. For the purposes of this blog, I’m just focussing on overwhelm when it comes to clutter.
Naturally for most people, when you see a clear, calm looking space, that’s mirrored in how you feel. The opposite is also true, a cluttered space can clutter your mind and make it feel impossible to do anything. For me, the answer is always to stop and take a step back first. Is there any particular area of the space that’s making you feel overwhelmed or is it everything? Either way, one thing at a time is always the safe answer. If you spend 5 minutes tackling it, that’s progress.
I had a client recently that needed help with a bedroom that was completely filled and unusable. I started off by putting everything into boxes: toiletries, books, makeup, empty bottles etc. One by one, each box can be dealt with as slowly as you like. The way I work, it’s sort it first, then process it, whether that means to give to charity, recycle, sell etc. It’s not surprising you can feel overwhelmed if you’re faced with clothes, books, bottles, medicines all mixed up together, it’s chaos!
It’s like cutting an overgrown garden back, you can suddenly see everything and know what you’re dealing with. Once my client was faced with the toiletries all together, she could see that most were expired and could be disposed of. I was there for 4.5 hours and by the end, the feelings of overwhelm and paralysis were substantially reduced. They felt that they could work through it and had a clear path.
So, when you’re faced with a space that feels so overwhelming you want to close the door and run away, take a second. If all you can do is pick one item and deal with that, wonderful, that’s moving forwards. Being the tortoise is fine, it’s not a race and from my experience, the slower you go, the less likely you’ll be overwhelmed and freeze.
If you’re reading this and thinking of reaching out, please do. I’m very friendly and always happy for a chat. Whether you manage to get though the overwhelm on your own, or you need help, you can free your space and gain a sense of calm, peace and serenity.